[spoiler alert - don’t read any further if you haven’t seen the film and don’t want to know what happens]
so i watched ‘star trek’ this past thursday, and while i thought j.j. abrams did an excellent job with the film, i have some major gripes. first off let me say that the film is excellently directed, though i could seriously do without the constant lens flares and handheld camera shots in scenes that didn’t need them. just my theory but i think “extras” like that should enhance the scene or mood, not just be there because you think they look cool. they totally took me out of the film some times, especially when i wanted to see what was under the lens flare or when i wanted to just look at an actor delivering his lines. but i digress. those are stylistic disagreements. i really had issues with the story line.
i’m sure i’ve missed many more gripes, but let’s start from the beginning.
1) bug-eyed alien chick at the beginning when jennifer morisson (aka capt. kirk’s mom) really threw me because she looked way too weird. not in that she’s an alien kind of way, but more like she looks like she could be human. the mere fact that i’m even thinking about this means i wasn’t paying as much attention to the moment of kirk’s birth/his father’s sacrifice as i could have.
2) why don’t we find out about why nero is mad crazy until like half way through the film. i absolutely hate villians who are just evil for no good reason. and even then his reasoning for destroying a whole planet wasn’t that they didn’t help but didn’t help enough? really? obviously, he knew spock was trying to help. he followed his space ship with the whole red matter thing. so why blow up his civilization? it wasn’t even the vulcan’s fault! it was a random supernova!
3) why does the black hole throw someone back in time when the writer’s need them to do that and yet when they need the villian to die it crushes the ship?
4) if kirk managed to convince capt. pike that it was a romulan trap at vulcan, why didn’t capt. pike do anything different? he just flew his damn ship right into the giant debris field just like he would had done sans kirk’s involvement. i just think knowing it’s a trap, he could have stopped the ship a couple hundreds of millions of miles away and thought of something else.
5) why does the only asian in the whole movie unable to drive at first? I know… I’m being overly sensitive. i just think it’s funny actually.
6) biggest gripe: how the eff does spock show up at the exact moment that kirk is about to be eaten to death by a giant lobster monster? seriously, the writers could have explained it away in a line like, “i knew you would be here… i’m from the future” or “nero put me here because he knew you would be” or something! but in the whole damn universe, kirk manages to find his way to the cave that spock is marooned in. the same can be said for scotty, but really spock? the supposedly biggest surprise in the whole movie randomly shows up at the same planet?
7) why the eff does old spock make kirk lie to young spock. you would have thought if old spock just showed up and said the same shit to young spock life would have been so much easier. but no, kirk has to make young spock beat the shit out of him before he can take over the ship. (he even meets young spock at the end to tell him that he’ll be good friends with kirk? wtf?) not to mention, the command structure in the star trek universe doesn’t make any damn sense…
8) is kirk really the only person on board a ship full of hundreds of officers and crewman that is qualified to be captain? he was an effing cadet! kudos to him for remembering how his dad died because that wasn’t something that he would never forget (yeah, hard one to put together right there), but even more disturbing is: didn’t capt. pike write his dissertation on the whole incident? wouldn’t he have remembered the whole lightning storm/cut off transmissions, etc…
9) if the enterprise is at warp, presumably several hours away and million of miles if not light years away, why did kirk and old spock beam into the enterprise? i mean couldn’t they have beamed to earth? or nero’s ship? speak of beaming and this is something ‘star trek’ does in general that is just stupid, why not beam a bomb into the ship and be done with it?
10) second biggest grip: why the eff is the enterprise the only ship ever to defend earth? you would think that the seat of humanity deserved a scud missle or two. did we get rid of all the ICBMs in this universe? there’s not a single ship/missle battery defending the whole planet? no photon torpedo launcher? no phaser bank on the moon? what the hell are the cadets down in san francisco shooting with?
that’s about all i have to say/can remember. just thought i’d put it out there because lord, it just made no sense. yes, there are dozens of these gripes in all the other star trek films and generally any other space drama, but star trek was always about something bigger than space battles. unfortunately, the new star trek doesn’t really attempt to have much deeper meaning than that.
however, spock’s arc was definitely much better than kirk’s and should have been longer and actually the centerpiece of the film. kirk being the jerk/smart guy who ends up being the leader is a decent enough arc if only it weren’t overshadowed by the infinitely more meaningful spock arc. plus the whole uhura thing… awesometown. best reveal in the whole movie. (except when they full on makeout for a minute while kirk and scotty are watching and the planet is about to be destroyed)